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Sometimes people come into my office because they are battling with temptation
in some area. Lately, it has occurred to me that a big part of such people's
problem is that they are actually "tempting God" (Mt 4:7). Climbing a mountain
without reasonable preparation is one way we might tempt God. Viewing
pornographic sites on the Internet is another. In fact, making any "provision for the
flesh" (Ro 13:14) is a way that we in our weakness tempt God to withdraw His
protection.
You who are struggling martially might tempt God by bailing out when that is not
His will for you. In such cases, "God wants me to be happy" or "God will forgive
me" has been used to rationalize divorce." Rather, like Christ did, "submit
(yourself).. .to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" (Ja 4:7).
Therefore, let us not insist that others submit. Let us just practice it ourselves.
Since submission, which Christ modeled when He went to the cross, is so central
to the gospel, we may do it ourselves, to God and one another, and proclaim it to
the world as part of the good news. Amen? Amen!
War and Peace
Thought: America has been in the battlefield the past month. We do not live in a
safe world. In fact, as reports of the atrocities of the Saddam Husain government
come to light, we see that great evil exists in this world of ours. The end of the Cold
War with its Soviet iron curtain, like the end of World War II with its Nazi Holocaust,
did not bring permanent peace on earth, nor rid us of evil.
Robert Frost said, "I have it in me so much nearer home to scare myself with my
own desert places." I find the literal "home front" the best place for us to win the
war, win the peace, and overcome evil.
The biggest victory for America today would be the "turn(ing) the hearts of the
fathers to their children" (Mal 4:6) and, also, the hearts of husbands and wives to
one another. As a poet said, "Let it begin with me."
Symbols
They are used for advertising, on sports teams, and in poetry. They are also
employed in marriage relationships. Certain things are symbolically important to
your mate. For example a man might be complaining that his wife does not return
his advances of affection. But symbolically he might convey much more love if he
pitched in when she needed help at something or perhaps just sat around and
listened to her concerning some struggle with which she is dealing. On the other
hand a woman frustrated with her husband being somewhat of an absent husband
and father might win her husband's interest back by relating to his symbol sets.
Perhaps it is symbolically important to him for her to participate in certain activities
with him outside the home. Symbolic actions do matter and do make a difference.
The Couch Potato
Thought: "So (s)he won't change. (S)he is so mean with you and the kids. And you
say (s)he is parked in front of the 'tube' from sunrise to sunset on days off. Well,
you deserve better. No one should put up with that kind of abuse. You should take
better care of yourself."
I suppose if I spoke the above, I would be some clients' dream. Finger pointing
and the "blame game" is standard fare in many family relationships. How much
more difficult it is for the natural mind to "esteem other better than himself' (Ph 2:3)
and to lay down his life for others as Christ did (Ph 2:8). That is why for cleansing,
healing, and growth, it is vital for us to put on the mind of Christ (Ph 2:5). Then,
obedience, and kindness, becomes a joy (Ep 6:6) and is actually easy
(Mt 11:30).
Per-marital counseling
Thought: What are some good questions to ask a couple before they get married?
Here are a few:
1) What are your expectations of each other?
2) How many children do you want?
3) Should the wife work outside the home, and how much?
4) How do you want to handle the finances?
5) How well have the two of you done in resolving problems together? Examples?
6) What do you think about using credit?
7) What are your goals for spiritual life and practice in the home?
If a couple tackles all the above questions and others relevant to them successfully,
they will have a much better marriage than one that is tied by romance alone.
Romance is good. But so are practical problem solving skills, especially in
seeking God's will as a couple together.